Written by Ken Canfield

I'd like you to make a new career choice as part of being a good father.

Now before you click away to somewhere else, understand that I'm not telling you to switch occupations or even leave your company. The career decision I'm asking you to make is actually a new career choosing. Let me explain.

For most of you, the first time you decided what career to pursue, you were a single man. There was no one to consult, no one else to worry about.

Ah, but now you have a wife and kids. In the past, you used your interests, talents, and opportunities as an end in themselves. You'd wonder, "What can I do for this job?"

Now, your career is only the means to an end. The question is, "What can this job do for my family and me?" It's the same work, but there's a big difference.

So how do you go about making this new career choice?

You start by figuring out your financial needs. Count your kids: 2, 3, 4, 5. What will it take to feed them each pay check? What's your monthly mortgage payment? How about clothes? Vacations? Figure in extras like Girl Scouts, little league, guitar lessons.

Then do some planning. Make some goals. Will your wife go back to work when the kids get older? What about college? Savings? Eventually, you'll have a bottom line figure. ...

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Written by the dads @ fathers.com

You pull into the driveway and turn off the engine, tired from a long day at work. Just then, you notice a little face peering through the window of your house. When you walk in the front door, your child is there to greet you and wrap his arms around your legs.

It's nice to be home, and those first few minutes set the time for the entire evening. Here are five practical tips to make coming home an easier transition.

First, remember that you've really been "fathering" all day. One of your primary responsibilities is to provide for your family's needs. Remind yourself throughout the work day that you're doing this for the ones you love, and the transition back home won't be quite so jarring.

Second, try unwinding a little before you get home. Take ten minutes in your office to unwind; maybe you could go for a short walk, or have some juice before you get home. You'll be ready to interact with your children right away.

Third, commit your first few minutes to your family. You might prefer to head straight for the couch, but by spending a few minutes interacting and catching up with everyone first—including a hug for your wife—you'll gain the freedom to relax. Chances are, your kids will energize you, and you'll forget how tired you were. ...

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Written by the dads @ fathers.com

Sure, your kids may know the company or organization your work for. They may even know your title. But, what does Daddy do at work? He drives around talking on his cell phone, or he goes to a factory, or he messes around on the computer. Some weeks, he flies to faraway cities to meet with people. Some afternoons, he plays golf.

Sue Shellenbarger, who is the work-family columnist for the Wall Street Journal, overheard her 9-year-old son tell a friend, "My mom types for a living."

Historically, dads have been the ones who teach their kids about the world of work. And that's still the most common scenario.

We need to give our children a better picture of what the world of work is like. One study from the University of Chicago shows that many teens don't understand the career paths that are open to them, and if they pick one, they don't know how to get started.

So how can we as dads do a better job preparing our kids for the workforce?

Shellenbarger suggests we tell stories—and offers these helpful insights:

First, remember kids are less interested in your successes, and more interested in the struggles you face and how you deal with them. ...

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Written by Carey Casey

One evening several months ago, my 9-year-old son Chance and I were heading up to his bedroom to do the tucking-in ritual, when we took a short detour to my study. It was just a few weeks after I had joined the National Center for Fathering, and my new business cards were on my desk. Chance saw them and asked if he could have one. I said, “Sure, Son,” and he picked one up.

He read it out loud: Carey Casey, Chief Executive Officer. Then he read the address and all the numbers, and I could tell he felt greatly affirmed and even proud of his old dad.

A little later, in Chance’s bedroom, I reached over to turn off the light on his dresser and saw my business card there. On the card, right below my title, in his 9-year-old chicken scratches, Chance had written the words, “A great father.”

As a dad, it was one of those moments I wouldn’t trade for anything. And that has provided motivation for me to help as many dads as possible have a moment like that because they have been there for their children.

It confirmed for me that, in the end, it doesn’t matter so much what title is on your business card. A more important title—and a more important legacy—is in your relationships with your children, and how they describe what you do in life. ...

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Written by Ken Canfield

Date Posted: Friday, 27 April 2007

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, about 41 million people in the U.S. move to a new residence in a given year—roughly 14 percent of the population. When you account for multiple moves, over fifty percent of Americans have made at least one move during the past seven years. This growing trend in mobility has both positives and negatives for fathers and families.

On the positive side, relocation often brings fathers new opportunities for employment. Additionally, moving to a new environment often spurs a man to greater achievement, exercises his problem-solving capacities, and provides an opportunity to build new relationships.

On the negative side, relocation stress has been equated with the stress of a divorce or a death in the family. It causes families to face a number of adjustments that may fuel loneliness, anxiety and depression.

Clearly, the experience of relocating can be both a traumatic challenge and a tremendous opportunity for a family, and fathers can play a vital role in helping family members adjust. When John moved his family to a new community for a job, he underestimated the social cost the move would require. Formerly, his household had been rooted and established with a strong support network. Now in a new community, John’s children were struggling with friends and school, his wife was depressed, and his new position required much more time than he had expected. Perhaps most distressing was that John felt a bit disillusioned because his new job wasn’t working out like he had expected. To deal with the stress, John retreated to his home office at night, leaving his wife and children to manage on their own. The rest of the story only gets worse.

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Written by Ron Nichols

There’s a common expression that we use all the time. It’s pretty harmless in itself, but as fathers we need to think differently with it. It’s the simple concept of spending time.

We always say, “I spent a lot of time on that project,” or, “I spent 20 minutes standing in line at the store,” or whatever. Even here at the National Center, we have often talked about how much time a father spends with his children. Committed fathers spend lots of time with their children, right?

There’s nothing wrong with saying that, but I want to make a distinction that I hope we can all keep in mind as we consider how we manage our schedules and make time for our families. You see, we have to think of time as something we invest, not something we spend.

Some obvious parallels with the financial world may be useful to show why this is important. In all of these different examples, I think you’ll see how they apply to our time as well.

If you put your money in an IRA, a mutual fund, stocks, real estate, or whatever, then assuming you invest it wisely, the money is still there, and chances are its value has grown. But it’s still yours. You’ve chosen to use it for a specific purpose; it’s invested to help you reach a particular goal. ...

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