Written by Ken Canfield

Have you taken your kids for granted recently? Have your kids been getting on your nerves? Are you feeling like you don't have energy to carry out your fathering duties? Maybe you have better things to do? Maybe you feel like you put in a lot of time as a dad and you don't see the big payoff.

I suppose these feelings are inevitable, but here's a concept that just may help you count your blessings. Listen closely: There are a multitude of men who have wanted children of their own for years, but for some reason—who knows why—they are unable to do so.

That's a sobering thought, isn't it? Well, many of these men take steps to become fathers anyway.

They may be called "big brothers" or "surrogate father figures," but they're fathering just the same. They're acting upon what I believe is a natural, God-given fathering instinct in every man. They know the importance—for themselves and for children—of bonding with a child, caring for him, encouraging him, teaching him about life.

Many join their wives in taking the steps to adopt. They become vulnerable to social service agencies. Their home life will be evaluated for its suitability to raise a child. Then they have to wait. One day they'll get a promising call. Then more waiting. Finally, all the papers are signed, they have the baby home, and these men finally feel the indescribable joy at becoming what they've always wanted to be: a dad. ...

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Written by Ken Canfield

Nothing—not even the nasty comment of a meddling aunt—would keep Roy from claiming his daughter.

When Roy married his wife, she had a young daughter from a previous marriage. Roy adopted her as his own, and then, in what seemed like no time, the couple had five more children.

This oldest daughter, as you might expect, felt a little bit like an outsider at times, and it didn't help that some members of the extended family kept bringing up the fact that she wasn't Roy's daughter.

One aunt seemed especially obsessed with letting everybody know what was what. One evening, the family was hosting a small gathering of family and friends. As Roy was introducing his daughter—who was thirteen at the time—the aunt stepped forward and said, "Well, she isn't actually his daughter; she is from another relationship."

I can't explain this aunt's actions, but I sure admire Roy's response. He said adamantly, "No, she's my daughter. And she's an important member of our family." That was followed by a tense silence, except for the daughter—she was beaming. She had been claimed clearly and publicly.

Today, as this woman looks back on those events, she points to that incident as a turning point in her life. It brought security and confidence to her as she faced some difficult challenges in the following years. She says that her father's commitment to claim her as his own has had an almost supernatural effect on her life. ...

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